Mom Guilt, Medical Burnout & Caregiver’s Exhaustion: Balancing My Needs with My Kids’
Let me start by saying this—if you’ve ever felt like you were running on fumes while trying to hold it all together, you’re not alone. I see you. I am you.
There’s this unspoken pressure when you’re a medical mama… this expectation that we need to be everything, all the time. Advocate. Caregiver. Teacher. Scheduler. Nurse. Emotional rock. And oh—still a regular mom, too. Making sandwiches, planning birthday parties, remembering to pack the diaper bags, signing the permission slips, and trying to keep the laundry from overflowing (again).
But here’s the truth I’ve had to come face-to-face with: you cannot pour from an empty cup, no matter how strong your love is.
For years, I’ve prioritized Jentri’s needs (Brantleigh & Maveryk’s too they are the healthy ones though aside from Mav having febrile seizures!)—and rightly so. When your child is fighting chronic illnesses like Primary Ciliary Dyskinesia and Atypical Cystic Fibrosis, everything else feels secondary. But over time, I started noticing that I wasn’t just tired… I was burned out. I’d push through the exhaustion and silence my own needs with guilt—because how could I possibly complain when my child was the one fighting for breath? How could I call myself tired when all three of my kids depended on me? I didn’t think I deserved rest—or so I thought.
That guilt is heavy. And if I’m being completely honest, it’s still something I wrestle with daily. It follows me when I’m planning our week, or our next family trip, always trying to give them the very best. That same guilt creeps in when discipline comes into play, too. I’ll catch myself thinking, “Well, she suffers enough daily… I’ll just give her phone back early.” (Which, let’s be honest, bites me in the butt 99% of the time!)
It’s even harder right now because we’re traveling full-time—we don’t have a “village” nearby. So much of this falls on me. And that’s where the caregiver exhaustion really hits. I know, I know—don’t I have a husband? Yes, I do. And he’s a phenomenal husband and father. But if you know me, you know I try my hardest to do it all. I’m always aiming to be Supermom… but that pressure often makes me feel like I’m falling short. (Even though deep down, I know I’m not.)
But slowly, I’ve been learning that taking care of me isn’t selfish—it’s essential. When I pause to breathe, rest, cry, or even laugh with a friend, I’m not abandoning my kids—I’m refueling for them. I’m becoming the mom who can show up fully, instead of just going through the motions. I’m refreshing my mental health and learning to ask for help. And that’s okay. (I have to remind myself of that at least ten times a day!)
It’s okay to feel all the emotions that come with this life.
If you’re in this season too, I just want to say: your needs matter. You’re not weak for needing rest. You’re not a bad mom for dreaming of a break. And you’re not failing just because you’re tired.
We are showing up for our kids in powerful, unseen ways every single day—and that includes modeling what it looks like to value ourselves, too.
So tonight, if the dishes are still in the sink and you’re choosing a quiet moment for yourself instead—know that it’s enough. You’re enough.
With love,
Kursti Young
Founder of Breath In Bloom Collective
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